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• Posted April 22, 2025

'The Talk' Is A Touchy Subject For Many Parents

TUESDAY, April 22, 2025 (HealthDay News) — The Talk.

It’s an anxiety-producing proposition for just about every parent — and as you might expect, opinions vary widely about when and how to have The Talk with a child nearing puberty.

Parents are evenly split in thinking it’s best to start talking about puberty before age 10, at age 10, or when children are older, according to results from the University of Michigan Health C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health.

“It’s easy to assume a child is too young for conversations about puberty, but many parents are surprised to find their tween already showing signs of puberty or asking unexpected questions about body changes,” Mott Poll Co-Director Sarah Clark said in a news release.

“Starting the conversation early gives parents a chance to shape the message in an age-appropriate way and help kids know what to expect, so they’re not confused or anxious,” Clark said. “If parents don’t open the door to these talks, kids may get their information elsewhere, like from classmates, social media, or what they see on TV.”

In the poll, parents shared a range of approaches and concerns in preparing their tweens for puberty:

• About half described their approach as proactive, while 2 in 5 said they talk about it when asked and another 5% avoid the conversation altogether.

• One in 5 parents worry about feeling embarrassed, and 1 in 6 fear saying the wrong thing.

• A quarter of parents with 10- to 12-year-olds say their child doesn’t want to discuss puberty.

• A third of parents with 7- to 9-year-olds say their child is too young to understand.

Some of parents’ hesitancy might stem from their own experiences at that age, Clark said.

Less than a third of parents say they received an adequate talk about puberty from their own parents, and more than a third say they didn’t hear a thing about it from their folks.

“Whether they realize it or not parents may bring their own experiences into their parenting approach,” Clark said. “Many parents said they had little or no discussion of puberty when they were young. If puberty was treated as an awkward or embarrassing subject growing up, that can make it harder to know how to begin.”

Parents also struggle to figure out whether to talk about sex and reproduction, and if so, when and how much.

“Early conversations should focus on making kids aware that they will experience physical and emotional changes, and reassuring them that those changes are normal,” Clark said. “Discussions about sex can occur over time.”

Parenting books can provide talk tips for mom and dad, Clark said, and annual check-ups might also be a good opportunity for parents and children to learn about puberty-related changes.

About half of parents are very confident they can recognize signs of puberty in their child, the poll found.

About 60% of parents of 10- to 12-year-olds have noticed signs of puberty, as well as 17% of parents of 7- to 9-year-olds.

Less than a third of parents weren’t sure what changes to look for, the poll found.

Parents should look out for teachable moments, like when a child asks a question or expresses an emotion, Clark said.

“Puberty isn’t just about physical changes — it’s also a time of emotional disruption, which can make open communication challenging,” she said. “Many tweens feel embarrassed or uncomfortable talking with their parents about these changes.”

To ease discomfort, some parents give their child an age-appropriate book or video about puberty and allow the child to explore the topic privately, Clark said.

“Often, that leads to additional discussion with parents,” she said.

The poll involved 2,021 adults surveyed in Feb. 2025, including 911 parents with at least one child 7 to 12. The margin of error is plus or minus 2 to 5 percentage points.

More information

Planned Parenthood has more about puberty.

SOURCE: University of Michigan, news release, April 21, 2025